Running shame

Hey – a rare non-race update from Poppy, the race whore! Mostly because I have running shame today and I need to share.  First some background.  About 9-10 years ago I had my gallbladder out.  Since that time when I need to poop, I have to poop NOW. I really envy the people who are able to sort of think, “Hmm… I need to poop but I can wait until I get home or to an acceptable substitute.”  Yeah – not me.  I can take you on a tour of Chicago and point out the McDonald’s, Starbucks, hotel lobbies, gas stations, park district field houses, etc. where I have had to stop for an emergency dump.  Running only intensifies the need – this is probably why I go on (and on and on) in my race recaps about whether or not I’ve pooped and the number of port-a-potties near the start of a race and on the course. I have in the past mentioned that the world is my toilet when I run, but that was on trail runs where you can be the proverbial bear shitting in the woods and as long as you go far enough off the trail no one will ever be the wiser.

So this morning I was meeting one of my running buddies at 6am for a 5 mile loop.  Now usually in this situation I would get up at 5am and hope to take care of business before I head out but today it was cold in the house and the bed was really warm and I couldn’t pry myself out before 5:35 which only left enough time to pee, dress, and brush my teeth.  Now some additional background.  I’ve always felt my husband doesn’t get enough fiber and since he has a family history of colon cancer and fiber is supposed to be good for preventing that I recently started putting a couple of tablespoons of Benefiber into the smoothies I make for our breakfast every morning.  I get plenty of fiber to begin with – a baggie of shredded wheat for my ride to work snack, 2 pieces of fruit every day, lots of veggies, whole wheat pasta and bread when I can – you get the drift.  So the Benefiber is probably a little overkill for me. When my running buddy and I hit the 3.5 mile mark I mentioned that I might have to make a detour in the park we run through at about the 4.5 mile mark.  I don’t know if it’s the mentioning of the potential poop, or that I started thinking about it, but the launch sequence began and I wound up suggesting we run through an alley and yes, I POOPED IN AN ALLEY.  Right between a dumpster and a telephone pole.  Am I not just the classiest broad around?  And yes, I did have tp with me. I think someone saw me too and I’m sure they have great fodder for their morning tweet or blog post or FB status. However, I immediately felt so. much. better.  I seriously think I could make my millions by installing those European pay-toilet kiosks around the city. 

Anyway, that’s today’s over-share, just for you.